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February 23, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Vernicia, Chris Rock answered this question a few months ago. It’s because black women aren’t attracted to white men. So, for every black man that dates a white woman that’s one less black man for black women. And you know there is a shortage of black men.
February 23, 2010 at 5:44 pm
I am still confused on this one Vernicia…if it aint my man who cares.
February 23, 2010 at 5:45 pm
Myesha, I asked Vernicia to ask this question based on my experiences. I date all across the board. My preference is black women, but I see beauty in all nationalities. EVERY time i’m out with a woman of another race (doesn’t have to be white either), I get the ‘death stare’ from black women. I never see persons of the race that i’m dating give me … See Moreor my date a ‘death stare’, they just keep it moving. Hell, my ex is latina and she’s had black women actually have the BALLS to come up to her and talk crap when i’m not around because she’s dating me. What gives? Why so hateful? That’s all i want to know…
February 23, 2010 at 5:45 pm
insecurities within themselves would be my guess.
February 23, 2010 at 5:46 pm
why is it so common and with primarily ‘black’ women? What’s the insecurity about?
February 23, 2010 at 5:48 pm
I don’t know you would have to ask an insecure one LOL! but you shouldn’t be worrying about them…its your life and your relationship. It’s not that other races don’t think the same thing, they just aren’t as vocal I think. Some women will just be jealous cause they can’t get a man, and here comes this chick with one that could have been available.
February 23, 2010 at 5:49 pm
My first boyfriend Adrian is black. My husband is white. Time, distance, and location steered my path. I feel the opposite, white girls hate me..hehehe..that’s cuz I’m too fly, and they wanna be me!
February 23, 2010 at 5:50 pm
OK Db, I am gonna step out on a limb and answer this question for you. 1 because you are my pal and 2 because I don’t think it should be ignored…as most other topics that us black folks don’t want to talk about. So here goes..this is in MY opinion why black women are angry when they see a “brotha” with a woman of another race.
1. They are already angry about everything- I think that the idea of walking around with a “white” girl probably makes a person feel self-conscious already but we can’t deny that many black women are “scorned” and just about ticked at EVERYTHING our brothers do…this includes dating white women. So while you may feel like they don’t like who you are dating…I think that a lot of women are looking for ANY excuse to be hateful and jealous.
2. A lot of black men turn on their own- DB while you say that you are attracted to women of all races, a lot of black men once they step outside of the “black circle” turn their back on sisters like they are nolonger attractive. So its not just about us sisters being insecure, we have to hear day in and day out that we don’t measure up to other races domestically and physically. We are typecast as being abbrasive and ignorent and that can be very frustrating when we want love like everyone else…. See More
3. SOME white women are willing to stoop to “new lows” to get a black man. Lets just be honest here….there are many white women who are willing to go “above and beyond” to be with a brotha for various reasons and this could include being walked all over, dogged out, giving up their money and basically being pimped. Now, this may come to your surprise but this is how a lot of black women percieve other races. They are willing to “sell themselves” out to worship a brotha.
Lastly, and certainly not least…in some circles of black women there is simply a lack of exposure. Women in the south generally are used to the brothas liking them..and only them. When you go to other areas, interracial dating is not that big of a deal and everyone can compete with everyone. I will tell you, as a southern girl, it used to be hard for me to watch but I NEVER and still dont feel that there is a woman of any other race that I cannot compete with.
This issue a deep one and it has sprinkles of self hatred, insecurities, lack of loyalty and eveyrthing else intertwined. I hope I have you SOME insight and perhaps you can be sympathetic to those that dont understand or appreciate your choices. You are an attractive “black” man…altho yellow…lmao..and women are gonna “hate”. But it doesnt matter…you gotta do YOU DB!
February 23, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Bring the fire Vern! lol.
1) You’re right; black women are a bit angrier than most. They have a tendency to continue to play the victim card when others try to grow.
2) I never turned away from black women; ya’ll too damn sexy for that. Actually, the lady that has caught my eye is black.
3) I see what you are saying, but I’m not just talking about ‘white’ women. Black women are mad at any woman other then themselves.
4) I don’t buy the exposure theory, because we are in a global existance and everyone has a tv. If someone wants to box themselves in just because of where they are from or who they are; it’s just sad. I too, am from the south and I come from a VERY traditional “born and raised in the Church” type of family. I believe that people simply choose to remain in their ‘box’ and resist outside exposure. That’s one of our main issues as black people in general, but that’s an entirely different topic…. See More
Lastly) Thanks for the compliment and you’re just as yellow as I am! lol
I really don’t mind the hate; I actually get a rush from it. It shows the that I STILL GOT IT! lol. It just became a problem in my previous relationship because she just wasn’t used to all the hate being shown to her. Again, she’s latina and I was her first black man she’s ever dated. She typically dates latin or white men. I’ve had alot of years of dating expierence to get used to the black woman ‘death stare’. She was just introduced to it when she started dating me. It got to a pont where she just had a horrible perception of black women in general and that’s just sad. Black women wonder why they get stereotyped into the ‘bitter’ category, but don’t attempt to take the steps to get rid of that sterotype. Unfortunatly, there is truth in many stereotypes…
February 23, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Ahhh yes DB. Im a capricorn…I love numbers..lol. So I hear what you are saying…but let me say this: Just because you don’t like the truth…doesnt make it so. So ur point about not buying the exposure theory is based on the fact that you dont believe it. But really…you are adding your perspective to a situation that is very real for a lot of people. The images on TV are a million miles away. The truth is that when you grow up in a environment where white women are foreign then you are not necessarily adjusted to them. Take the women in california for example…The black women there are totally adjusted to anyone dating WHOMEVER they want. Its only women in urban areas or who have not been exposed who have a problem with brothas dating others.
The truth of the matter with this situation is that when you are in a interracial relationship..or any relationship for that matter, there are always going to people wishing you ill will. I appreciate your perspective but I think you have glossed over some issues and focused on others. This issue is not SOLELY about angry black women..its goes much deeper. Black women have become the garbage bags of society…they have been left as single mothers, etc and are carrying a huge burden of anger and responsibility on their back….which they pass down to their daughters. That coupled with the “hard” mentality has left us where we are. Angry and not quite sure how to express our frustrations.
In my opinion, any woman who is absolutely sure of herself and her relationship with her man really wont give a damn what others think…regardless of the race. But I definately understand how aggrivating it has been for you. But again I say, just because it doesnt make sense to you doesnt mean it isnt true. Take it from a black woman that grew up in the hood…if you dont see something regularly, it seems strange and people react to strange things negatively. Try dating a “non black” in seattle and you would never have this issue…. See More
February 23, 2010 at 5:54 pm
oh lord u thee Seattle my home city in there .. my grandfather(who is black) married and dated 1 black, 1 native American(my grandma) and the rest white. almost every man on my mothers side has a white wife of girlfriend! it’s Insane… but I still feel some type of way about it. Since now living in dc it’s completly different. I hardly see Mixed race couples.. And the majority of black men I know and meet all say “I could and will NEVER date a white women”! lol
February 23, 2010 at 5:55 pm
threw* Ive always been attracted and liked black guys.. brown skin perferably.. but were afraid I was too light for them…mostly just my old shy/nervous self AND durring the time that movie “something new” came out, I was dating a very clingy,annoying white guy. that was my FIRST and last time! I love black men.. always and foreveeeeeeer!
February 23, 2010 at 5:56 pm
I have no problem with anyone dating or marrying anyone else. Love is Love. I’ve always felt this way. I grew up with a diverse group of friends and family so it’s never been an issue.
I have never placed limits on myself and certainly don’t place limits on who others choose to date/marry
.
February 23, 2010 at 5:57 pm
Thanks ladies but WHY is it such a problem for some? I understand how you all may feel but there is a lot of us who just cannot handle it! Well…maybe we already answered the question above..lol
February 23, 2010 at 5:58 pm
1. Ignorance on many levels–personal level, lack of knowledge/experience with other races/cultures….etc. We are so much more alike than we are different as people on this planet. If people would look past the differences there would be no issue.
2. Lack of self confidence/love/worth. If you are confident/ love yourself/ place a high value on yourself– you really don’t look at others as the competition. You just go about your life. You don’t feel a need to compete because you really don’t have to. You aren’t really worried about others honestly.
3. General Bitterness/Unhappiness- People who are happy with themselves and their relationships should not be worried about who others are dating/married to. Some women are unhappy with life in general–who ‘he’ is dating is just one more thing to gripe about–one more ‘excuse’ for ‘her’ to be angry about something. As someone stated above–if the man isn’t with you–why are you worried about who he is with? If he were not with her–would you date him? would he date you? I doubt it. He’s a free man..he can date who he wants…lol…. See More
I also want to touch on this because it was mentioned above. I have to say that we all know there are black women who stoop to new lows everyday to be with men. They get dogged out by men, take care of men, and deal with men who aren’t even worthy of the title of ‘man’ every day. There are women in general who stoop to new lows to get a man each day. That’s not just a white woman thing. I frankly believe it’s just another stereotype. I’ve seen it in every race and culture. I also know many white women who are married to black men and they did not have to ‘stoop low’ to get them or stay with them. They are very respectable women and their love with their husband’s is genuine.
As always, I hate to be repetitive…not sure if I touched on some issues that were already mentioned..lol..I scanned through only a few responses before I replied… Good topic…
February 23, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Hi V, I never weigh in(too lazy to type full response) but couldn’t resist this time,lol! First, I am from seattle and trust me they care(the sista’s). Although interracial dating is so prevalent there you would think they wouldn’t. As Brittany stated, I have witnessed every black man in my family date, marry and/or have children by white women… See More. I myself am mixed(not w/white) but identify as black(don’t feel like dissecting my dna for the random fools who have the nerve to ask me,lol)as that has been my main “experience”(growing up). The problem I see is when some black men choose to date exclusively outside of their race as so many do and dog out black women in the process(and came from a black woman’s womb). I don’t feel that all black women are angry,bitter etc…maybe a broken spirit. I just think that while black men face alot of obstacles in our society just by being black, so do women. Hence: attitude,angry,whatever you want to call it. Alot of women grow up watching this from the women in their family and it pass on.
This subject is so much deeper than we have time for in this forum. This topic has more to do with racial issues than relationship, I think. I do believe that people should date/marry whomever they choose but why is it a crime to prefer “black on black”? Other races don’t seem to mix like blacks(men)do. It seems we are so busy tring to assimilate and prove we are not “racist” and that we are “globally minded” that we are steadily moving away from tradtional families(black/black,or same race). I feel like I am rambling so I will bow out……. Good topics as always
February 23, 2010 at 6:00 pm
^…THAT’S MY MOMA! she’s right!! I’m only 24..soon 25 and between my black friends and I, we can’t bare to see a FINE man with a “basic” white girl.AND HE HAS THE NERVE TO BE LOOKING AT US. lord help me. my best friend Lindsay is white and when I took her to a black club it was like lunch time at the zoo lol. the younger generation males( 24-30) are mostly liberal and don’t care
February 23, 2010 at 6:01 pm
I don’t hate it when a black men date white women cuz love should be color blind…I hate it when black men say they don’t like or hate black women b/c of sterotypes they have about us. cuz if u hate black women u hate urself and ur mother!
Another thing that gets me is when a white woman is with a black man they automactically think u don’t like them and they will start staring and mean-mugging u like they ready to fight! Honey i don’t want ur man ok! lol
February 23, 2010 at 6:05 pm
lol wait u must have missed my ode to Kevin garnet! I guess love is love but agree with miss Thomas about the men who say they don’t like/hate black women due to certain sterorypes AND white girls who think just cus the snagged a black guy they understand or can relate with being black! lol pure comedy!